Reflecting on Simpler Times

I came across this old photo of Pete and me from waaaay back in 2002.  There are so many things wrong with this picture.  I have braces, you can't see it but he is wearing wide-leg jeans, and we're both sitting on the crime against all furniture, my parents' pinstriped wool-blend 80's couch. (Please note that I have neglected to add my Grumpy slippers to the list of things wrong with this photo.  Those slippers were amazeballs and shall not be criticized.)  But look at how happy we were!  Those were the days before mortgage payments, before children, and yes, before fighting cancer.  They were also the days when we had no real jobs, no direction in life, and no responsibility.  

Fast forward ten years, and here I am asking myself what we would have thought if we had known then what we know now.  The doctors estimate that Pete's tumor has been around for 5-10 years, so it's possible that Pete had cancer back then and we just didn't know it.  It's hard to say what decisions we would have made if we'd had that information, but I feel pretty safe in saying we would not have the life we have now.  For one thing, I'm fairly sure we would have decided against having children.  It wouldn't have seemed fair to bring them into the world, knowing that Pete might not be here for the majority of their lives.  And so, I can truthfully say I'm grateful we didn't know then what we know now.

This is our son, Ryan.  Not only is he a little clone of his daddy, but he is one of the sweetest and coolest kids you could ever want to meet.  And he's a momma's boy!  He picks me flowers, writes songs for me, and even tells me I'm beautiful each morning as I stumble through the kitchen in search of the coffeepot.  Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for choosing me to be his mom, and now I'm even more grateful.  Because every time I look at Ryan, I see so much of his dad.  And I know a day may come when I'll need that reminder.  

So, as I look back on that old photo and realize life hasn't turned out quite the way we'd expected, in my heart, I know it's even better.  The time we have together now has become so precious that we can't help but make the most of it.  We are so much more aware of the blessings God has strategically placed in our lives, and we are more grateful for them. And while the path we've been given is difficult, we know we can manage it.  Because it is one richly filled with purpose, value, and love.  And above all else, it's ours.